What Is Chiropractic Anyway?

The holism of chiropractic, I ask you? To be something close to holistic one would have to be intimate with every physical, structural, mental, emotional, spiritual, electromagnetic, psychosocial, psychoenvironmental and socioeconomic factor a person presents with and address each accordingly. And to be intimate, not even spending an entire day with that person would bring clarity to the supposed holism their being would require. The fact that healing occurs in spite of what you, as the practitioner, do or don't do, is a product of the inborn wisdom of the body, a reflection of universal wisdom, which is a principle embraced by many but practically applied by few when it comes to informing the general public of what it is we do. This is a plea to inspire me, please.

The founder prefaced The Chiropractor's Adjuster in 1910 with 'Life is the expression of tone', not: 'The lack of life expression is due to this rubber band around my finger'. But that was 96 years ago, Neil. Let it go. Oh I'm sorry, how old is the bible? Yet soil is still stained with blood 2,000 years on in religious feuds. Let it go. See, we're undergoing evolution. Why there's so much unrest in the world; why our institutions and traditions are crumbling is because... they're no longer relevant. As the late, great Bill Hicks put it: Perhaps it's time for us to create a new philosophy, and perhaps even a new religion. And that's okay, 'cause that's our right, 'cause we're free thinking children of God with minds that can imagine anything and... well... *coughs* ¹... that's kind of our role.

I'll give you one reason to put down the rubber band. Hell, for anyone who ever adjusts cranial structures, I'll give you two. Firstly, the nerve system doesn't connect to every cell of the body as so many like to explain. Look at these images. Yeah, I know. It put a glitch in my matrix too when I first figured that out. The nerve system only accounts for roughly 3% of communication within the body, so if you're making it 100% of your message to the public, it's only 3% true. No, I lie. True nerve compression itself is only present in less than 10% of cases, therefore making your message less than 0.3% true. My bad. Secondly, which nerve runs through the sagittal suture again?

D.D. Palmer renamed God 'Universal Intelligence' because he said people weren't ready for it. Phrases like In His image, My body is a temple and I am the I Am made sense to me when I read what D.D. was saying, but even though people might still not be ready to embrace their Godlike qualities to full potential, there's no harm in creating new philosophies to explain chiropractic. I think the time is appropriate.

Recently I decided to take function to the masses and try my hand at relaying a different message. Just for sport. It's no fun when you keep secrets to yourself, ya know. I discovered people are ready - for understanding function at least. And it reaffirmed what I have always believed: That in the Information Age, the so-called layman knows more than you think. At first I was apprehensive, but my encounter with the public gave me hope; hope that the message from a natural healer can be repackaged into something contemporary and, hopefully, more than 0.3% true. A lot more.

To conclude, I would like to thank all the chiropractors, patients and friends, the world over, who play along and make writing these newsletters so worthwhile for me. In only 10 short issues, WICA collected 160 readers and continues to grow. I hope I get to meet all of you one day. And in the leitmotiv of function, I'd like to share a testimonial².

Since I met Ruth a month ago, an 80 year-old ten pin bowling extraordinaire, I'd been drumming into her that she's going to start striking again (a strike is knocking all ten pins down with the first ball). She started bowling at age 70, and quickly became a local legend, acquiring a cabinet full of shiny trophies. However, until now, she hadn't got a strike for over three years. After four visits, Ruth handed me this little gem...